Listen With Your Whole Body

I hope you enjoy listening to this artist: Evelyn Glennie. She talks about listening with open ears and an open mind. Indeed, listening with your whole body!

I also really enjoyed that she shows an exploration of the drum like we do in our Village class this week....exploring freely, no wrong answers. That's how children explore. And the feeling of absolutely no wrong answers, freedom to take risks, freedom to make hypothesis and to prove and disprove them...This is what opens the doors to a child's creativity--the freedom!

I have learned so many new ways to play music from children's exploration of instruments and music making in our classes.

So click on Evelyn Glennie and open yourself to listening as a whole body experience.
Enjoy,
Yvette

Food Court Musical

Life is a musical! Here these adults are doing what children do all the time!

Parenting Tip (a Kindermusik perk!)

This tip is about how to get a child to do what YOU want them to do! You know that's a tall order. They seem to sniff it out when you have an agenda....then they have a WILL!

No tip is perfect or fool proof but practice does improve this technique and your relationship always benefits so give it more than one try.

We call this "Scaffolding". Here are the main steps:

• imitate and label
• suggest a doable variation
• give informational feedback

So in class they come back from the basket of jingle bells shaking, shaking, shaking. You imitate saying "Shake, shake, shake your bells!" You can tell you have their attention, watch their eyes. Next you say "Can you shake them fast?" while you model fast. Usually they jump right in. Now's your chance to offer informational feedback "I see you shaking them fast." or "Wow, that's fast."

Many times we respond with these words: "Good job!" and that's the behavior modification technique that was modeled to me as I did training in college to be a music teacher. (That was way back!) So for me "Good job!" just jumps out of my mouth!

Over the years I've watched these words strike fear in my young students. I've seen children throw their bells, slam down their glockenspiel mallets, hide under chairs, dive into mothers' laps... I've asked myself why????? My intention was to increase self esteem, confidence, to praise the right action or right answer. Why then such a strong reaction in some children to those words.

Alfie Kohn worte "Punished by Rewards", a book that I found at a used book sale years ago. This book changed my teaching. It changed my understanding of children and adults and their reaction to praise.

As a reaction to "Good job!" children and adults will on some level wonder if they can possibly keep up such good work! And they will look on the praise as a sign of conditional love. "If I can't do such a good job next time will my teacher still like me?" A large part of the fear and stress evolves from the lack of information on which the praising adult is basing the judgment.

The alternative is very simple. Say what you see. Leave out the judgment. "You are shaking the bells fast!" "You are picking up your toys!" "Your hands are clean."

That's really ALL you have to do. They LOVE it when you notice!

So actually that was Parenting Tip #2. To get back to #1 and the 3 steps above, you can keep repeating steps 2 and 3 until you have met your objective or you both tire of the game.

"I see you wiggle your toes" (as you wiggle yours).
"Can you wiggle them all the way over to your boots?"
"Oh, you are wiggling slowly!"
"You are getting close!"
"Can you wiggle them down in the toe of your boot?"
"Wow, I see stomping feet!"
"I wonder if we can jump all the way to the car?"............

Add a song for special effects!

Now you try!

Keep singing and twirling,
Yvette

The Child's lesson plan!

During this first week of the new semester I watch carefully to see how children react to what's new. New things can be joyous but when EVERYTHING in the world is so new (it is for the very young!) then NEW can be pretty scary! It's written all over their faces: "Where's my routine????" New Kindermusik room, new teacher, new routines, new songs and activities......for some a completely new adventure.

I hear the grown-ups implore: "You're OK! You're OK! Don't be so shy!"

We have insight! We have experience that tells us everything is OK. I look into their worried eyes and say "This is new, isn't it. I don't look like Miss Patty Lee, do I?" They seem reassured when they know I have an idea what is upsetting. Then they watch. Then we sing. Then....they begin dancing!

Here is an article that I found through my Kindermusik educator friend in Michigan, Miss Melinda! It's a little story of a first Kindermusik experience through a mom's eyes. We all need some reassurance, don't we! Find the article here.

The Brass Family of Orchestral Instruments

I borrowed the trumpet from my brother! Look how much fun we are having.

Here's Maria, trying out the trumpet!
All instruments in the brass family have tubing, a bell, a mouthpiece and are made of brass. The trumpet, french horn, and tuba have valves. The trombone has a slide!

Noah hits a high note!

Ethan got the buzz going! You have to get your lips buzzing to make a sound in a brass instrument and that can be a challenge!
Luke's a natural! We figured out that if you lengthen the brass tubing by pressing down on a valve the pitch gets lower. But if you buzz your lips faster you can get a higher note! Ah, the physics of sound!

Here we are dancing to a brass serenade.

That word: CONTROL

What do you think of when you hear that word? Does a "controlling" person come to mind? Have you been called "controlling"? Seems like a popular dysfunction!

Ever thought that your child was controlling?

(Did I just hear a collective sarcastic chuckle?)

Years ago at a La Leche League meeting (a place where I very carefully gathered all the wisdom I could) I was guided to a book called "Motherhood Stress" by Deborah Shaw Lewis. The very first paragraph described my stress exactly. Mom, with shopping list in hand is going downstairs, infant in arms and just behind the toddler who is in the "me do it" stage. The phone rings, you were hoping to get to the store and back before lunch and naps, so you shoulder the phone to your ear while trying to catch the toddler who is mad because she wants to wear her pretty shoes and you can only find one.... and get the snowsuit on the infant. Finally toddler is buckled in and you hear a sound from the baby that means you definitely must change diapers and probably the full outfit so back in you go. It's after the second try that as you buckle the baby in the toddler announces that she has to tinkle.....The mom unbuckles everyone and heads back in the house where she sits on the floor and cries, having given up the grocery errand all together.

Now that's stress as I felt it. After that paragraph (which I only attempted to paraphrase as I remember it--it's been I think at least 15 years since I've read that book--the author defines stress: The feeling of not having control over your situation.

Control. Hmmmm.

Does that apply to everyone? Moms and dads? CEO's? The woman at the cash register? Teachers? Business owners? Children who are expected to sit still at the table and eat the food in front of them with no choice in the matter?

Just before the holidays I got to say to parents of the toddlers in my classes a statement that is in my Kindermusik teacher's guide that goes something like this: Studies show that young children who experience the opportunities to control (in a safe environment) at a young age are more likely to accept responsibility for their actions as the are teens. "Lead through that sugar and tea, now, Lead through that candy"...the child takes the adult by the hand and weaves under the arched windows of the circle of children and their adults. The child is in control, it's fun and safe.

Lesson one: You don't have to be bigger to be in control. A good lesson for learning before you're a teen on how to handle peer pressure, don't you think?

Lesson two: We need community and community needs us.

Lesson three: We can lead and it feels good to lead. There is a certain freedom in being in control but at the same time we see that our actions affect others.

Lesson four:Our need for a sense of control over our lives begins at an early age.

Lesson five: When a child, as a leader, sees others following he gains confidence and may develop a sense of freedom for expanding expression of creativity.

Lesson to parents: If a child goes through periods of being more controlling (especially around ages 2-3 1/2, 5 year olds, and again as teens) taking away choices or giving choices that are not real (meaning the child really doesn't feel as if he actually has a choice. ie: "You either pick up your toys or take a time out!") will most likely just turn up the heat on your battle. The child feels out of control of his own life!

If you want to teach good negotiation skills help your children to be in control of their lives, help them find a way to choose to do the right things. "You can either pick up your toys now or finish playing and put your toys away in 15 minutes when the timer rings. Which do you choose?"

I think most parents' arguments to this thinking goes something like this: "This takes too much time! I need these things done right away when I ask!" This is the way our society is today there really isn't enough time to plan telling the children ahead enough to give them choices takes time and creativity on the part of the adults. We really are too busy.

Well then at least we can see one of the costs of this busy life. We make that choice and we do what we need to do to feel in control.

Take a breath!

Peace,
Yvette
p.s. I should mention that a lot of my ideas on negotiation come from Marshall Rosenburg's book: Non Violent Communciation (a great source for improving all relationships)

2009

HAPPY MAGICAL NEW YEAR!!!!!!!
Last year was such an amazing year.....But 2009 will be more than amazing! That's my prediction.
I see it through the children's eyes!
Peace,
Yvette