Music education: I'm trying to be a tiger mom!

I'm trying to be a Tiger Mom to my daughter, getting her to practice, practice, practice her cello! I'm doing this because I believe playing a musical instrument well is key to developing her confidence, self efficacy, creativity, intelligence....well, to developing just about her whole self. You know when you gaze into the eyes of your newborn and say I want you to be independent, compassionate, confident, capable, trustworthy, trusting, loving, curious, intelligent, productive......(my list is quite long). But I'm not the best Tiger Mom. Ever since this "Tiger Mom" concept hit the headlines I've been thinking about how it applies to me. I'm pretty easy going (wimp?) in every other area with my daughter EXCEPT music.

This was an interesting read:

Sorry Tiger Mom, it doesn’t have to be drudgery to be productive and character building.
Getting over the “hump” isn’t just about reaching the inherent rewards, it’s an integral part of the confidence-building element of Sistema previously referenced here. Confidence, in this context, is virtually synonymous to Albert Bandura’s concept of self-efficacy, a term he used to describe our belief in our own ability to ......(go read it!)

This I found at a blog by Johnathan Andrew Govias. It's a short article and touches on music education and self-efficacy AND a program to lift children over the drudgery, the "hump" of learning to play an instrument. Do read it! The program he is talking about is El Sistema and....hark! I hear now the timpani in the distance! El Sistema is coming to Asheville. (In about 18 months.)

Here's a listening experience for you if you'd like goose bumps. The Teresa Carreño Youth Orchestra contains the best high school musicians from Venezuela's life-changing music program, El Sistema. Led here by Gustavo Dudamel, they play Shostakovich's Symphony No. 10, 2nd movement, and Arturo Márquez' Danzón No. 2.

Who wouldn't want this experience for their child? I believe every child can.

A Fork in the Road of Parenting

When your little one begins to walk and is on a new level of "getting in to things" a parent is presented with a unique opportunity to affect their child's intelligence, creativity, emotional well being....well, OK, everything.

If a child toddles over to the lamp to grab the shade to pull it off the side table...(probably in order to climb up on the table to figure out the blinds on the window, right?) what should you do?

The left side of the fork in the road:
Allow desparate shock to overcome you face, run to the lamp, grab the child's hand and shout "NO!" Maybe since this is the umpteenth time you are doing this routine just this morning, you will be more stern, shake his arm or swat his finger....

The right side of the fork in the road:
You meet him at the lamp and help him use his pointer finger to feel the carved wooden base of the lamp and the pretty doily, talking about the colors, textures, delicate materials and anything else about what you might guess he's noticing now that you mention it!

The left side of the fork in the road is always the same. The child recieves a jolt and might be angry or jump right into the tantrum.

Choosing the right side of the fork in the road might change every time you do it. The right side takes creativity on the parent's part, and time. A child's world is a lot slower than ours. But you will be helping your child understand their world, be observant, curious, careful, considerate, etc. By talking to him you are giving him vocabulary and helping him to form questions and ideas.

As I was giving the parents in one of my Village classes this week one adorable one year old rushed up to another adorable (and much more petite) baby and just about rammed her over. Mom and I both met between the two children at the nick of time. She said a calm "No, let's not knock over our friend and at the same time I helped him find his finger and point to the cute flower on his new friend's shirt. We talked about the colors and how pretty it looked on his friend today! His face changed as he considered all the ideas we gave him! He was very interested.

This is just one idea for your parenting bag of tricks. It won't work all the time. You will sometimes be able to think of it in time and have the clear mind and heart to act with patience and calmness.

Here's Becky Bailey in a video explaining in a nutshell what you can find in greater depth in her book "Conscious Discipline". It's really worth the read.

Laughter, the best medicine!

"Laughter increases white blood cell activity and changes the chemical balance of the blood. This is believed to boost the body's production of chemicals needed for alertness and memory. Laughter reduces stress, and low stress enhances the brain's receptivity to learning. According to researchers, laughing (having fun) also boosts the body's immune system for three days-the day of the fun and the next two."
-Start Smart!: Building Brain Power in the Early Years, by Pam Schiller

Yes, laugher and fun help build neural pathways to the frontal lobes of the brain where creativity, problem solving and thinking happen. Conversely, cortisol, the horomone of flight or fright (stress) build and strengthen the neural pathways to the brain stem where attention to and action for survival is paramont. Activity in the brain stem controls heart rate, respiration, digestion, and systems that are important for survival of the species. It's not where thinking and learning happens.

By stern reprimands, arm shaking, swats to the bottom , etc, gives the average toddler a good dose of cortisol about every 9 minutes of his waking life. Adrenaline takes about a day and a half to neutralize.

By the way, adrenaline deters frontal lobe brain growth, directing growth to the brain stem instead.

This amazing information comes from an article I read by Joseph Chilton Pearce and his book The Biology of Transcendence. See my post below to watch a video of Pearce.

Peace,
Yvette

Thinking...How Children Think:

Young children think in pictures. You say "Dog" and they see an image of a dog in their mind. Some words just don't have pictures on their own and take time for children to develop a way to think these words. I remember the challenge Anne had with words like "yesterday", "before", and "no!".

Jill Molli spoke to Kindermusik educators last week at our international convention in Raleigh, NC. She is a dynamite speaker for Becky Bailey's Conscious Discipline approach to working with children. I was already a fan of Becky Bailey since she presented her ideas to us at last year's convention and I was so glad to hear Jill Molli... I'd listen all day for weeks...It's such good stuff.

So here's one tidbit about what she said for helping children learn when they still predominantly think in pictures. If you say "Don't run!" the only picture children will come up with is an image of their own feet running! There's no picture at all for "don't". What's so dangerous about saying "Don't run!" is that not only that they can't help but run, but mostly that we feel so strongly that they are disobeying the adult in charge. Things only escalate from there...and now we have a power struggle.

Let's head that tantrum off at the pass (my adult tantrum too!) and avoid expecting children to think more maturely than they are able.

Say:
"Eat your potatoes" instead of "Don't dawdle"
"Sit down" instead of "Quit bouncing around"
"Put your feet here" instead of "Stop fooling around"

Do you get the idea? It makes sense to me. Let me know what you think about this idea...I'd love to hear your comments.

Peace,
Yvette