When your little one begins to walk and is on a new level of "getting in to things" a parent is presented with a unique opportunity to affect their child's intelligence, creativity, emotional well being....well, OK, everything.
If a child toddles over to the lamp to grab the shade to pull it off the side table...(probably in order to climb up on the table to figure out the blinds on the window, right?) what should you do?
The left side of the fork in the road:
Allow desparate shock to overcome you face, run to the lamp, grab the child's hand and shout "NO!" Maybe since this is the umpteenth time you are doing this routine just this morning, you will be more stern, shake his arm or swat his finger....
The right side of the fork in the road:
You meet him at the lamp and help him use his pointer finger to feel the carved wooden base of the lamp and the pretty doily, talking about the colors, textures, delicate materials and anything else about what you might guess he's noticing now that you mention it!
The left side of the fork in the road is always the same. The child recieves a jolt and might be angry or jump right into the tantrum.
Choosing the right side of the fork in the road might change every time you do it. The right side takes creativity on the parent's part, and time. A child's world is a lot slower than ours. But you will be helping your child understand their world, be observant, curious, careful, considerate, etc. By talking to him you are giving him vocabulary and helping him to form questions and ideas.
As I was giving the parents in one of my Village classes this week one adorable one year old rushed up to another adorable (and much more petite) baby and just about rammed her over. Mom and I both met between the two children at the nick of time. She said a calm "No, let's not knock over our friend and at the same time I helped him find his finger and point to the cute flower on his new friend's shirt. We talked about the colors and how pretty it looked on his friend today! His face changed as he considered all the ideas we gave him! He was very interested.
This is just one idea for your parenting bag of tricks. It won't work all the time. You will sometimes be able to think of it in time and have the clear mind and heart to act with patience and calmness.
Here's Becky Bailey in a video explaining in a nutshell what you can find in greater depth in her book "Conscious Discipline". It's really worth the read.
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